Food | selected clips 

Comedy. Writer. Comedy writer.  


Federal Sentencing Guidelines For Billionaires, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, July 11, 2019 

Supervillains React To Betsy DeVos's Proposal To Gut Funding For The Special Olympics, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, March 28, 2019

I Want A President I Can Drink A Beer With, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, March 14, 2019

It's Time To Take Up Arms In The War Against Toxic Masculinity, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, January 15, 2019  

Now That I've Finished Burning Down Your Village, It's Time For Us To Heal, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, November 7, 2018 

Thank You For Participating In America's Annual Voter PurgeMcSweeney's Internet Tendency, October 31, 2018

The Corporate Jargon Decoder, The Muse, August 24, 2018 

Mission: Impossible - Everyday Tasks, Medium, August 21, 2018

Order Of Snackcession, The Belladonna Comedy, June 8, 2018

These Aren't Just Any Motherfucking Snakes On This Motherfucking Plane, The Belladonna Comedy, February 23, 2018

"Wait, Wait...Don't Tell Me!" on NPR, Guest Writer, January 20, 2018

Motivational Quotes For Realistic People, Medium, November 5, 2016 

An Honest Accounting of My Billable Hours, Medium, April 8, 2016

Overdue Baby Really Milking This Entrance, Reductress, April 8, 2016

​​​A Plea For Menstruation Without Taxation, The Huffington Post, April 7, 2016
Netflix's New Parental-Leave Policy Is Bullcrap For The Childless, RedEye Chicago,  August 10, 2015

Smug Bitch Has Already Finished All Of Her Holiday Shopping, Reductress, October 21, 2014

Woman Does Not Feel Good About Her Outfit Choice Today, Reductress, June 21, 2014

Woman Who Died Alone In Cubicle Left Behind Amazing Candy Drawer, Reductress, June 10, 2014

​Mary Poppins: A Job Review​, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, August 10, 2011

An Open Letter To Pumpkin-Flavored Seasonal Treats, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, November 12, 2010